Breaking Trauma Bonds with Toxic Men

The act of trauma bonding is sadistic in nature. It forms an unhealthy attachment. When a victim has an inkling of thought of wanting to escape the abuser she is pulled back with a nice gesture. This may make a woman feel sorry for wanting to leave the relationship. In the back of their minds’ that little goodness that is given makes them think that the attacker is just going through something or has a good heart and can change. Also, it may keep the woman connected to how the person was in the beginning of the relationship and not escaping because they hope or are waiting for prince charming to miraculously resurface. 

The truth is those toxic men do not change. They are keeping their victims loyal to an idea that is an illusion. They do just enough to keep one hopeful and then shatter hearts’ over and over. The cycle becomes so habitual that a woman may find herself constantly looking for ways to please and keep the creature happy. A lot of these men are narcissistic in nature. Each time it strikes he takes a piece of her soul and self-worth. 

When a person experiences trauma the primal reaction is to go into survival mode. The fight, flight, or freeze response is triggered. In this case the victim keeps freezing. He knows it too, even if he cannot articulate it. He knows he has her in a place where she will not go astray, and he will continue to inflict pain. He will continue to reflect how he feels on the inside onto the one he is supposed to cherish. It becomes an unhealthy soul tie. 

One must detach from their predator on all levels. No communication on any level. If not, she will lose herself. No woman should ever go against her own intuition. It is not normal or love to keep accepting someone’s’ toxic behavior. Negative forms of bonding does not make you loyal to the situation it makes you a punching bag for a fuck boy to take his issues out on you instead of doing the inner work to elevate himself.